Money Talk or Not?

For some, raising the topic of money early on in a relationship is considered taboo. While there isn’t one right answer about when the optimal time to broach the subject is, it is generally encouraged to have discussions prior to marriage. As Warren Buffet states in HBO’s documentary Becoming Warren Buffett, the biggest decision of your life will be who you choose to marry. 

Money affects our daily lives whether we want to admit it or not. It doesn’t necessarily buy happiness, but it certainly influences one’s life. How we choose to spend money and what we value differs from person to person. Having more in-depth knowledge of your partner’s finances can help you determine if you align. If your partner liked to splurge on clothing, and you liked to splurge on vacations, would it bother you? Spending patterns and savings can tell you so much about a person without them expressing it. From the outside, someone may appear to be wealthy, but would you feel differently if you found out that they were highly leveraged? What if they seemed somewhat frugal in their spending habits, would you give them a chance or would you presume they do not have wealth? 

Having discussions about money early on in a relationship can eliminate surprises at the altar. You should know all about your partner including their finances before saying “I do.” While dating you may even be able to have a positive impact on one another by encouraging each other to make better financial decisions. You could start working together toward saving for common goals you have for your future. Saving together doesn’t necessarily mean having to have combined accounts, it could just be accountability for saving in your own account toward a joint goal. 

Now you may be wondering, how can I bring this topic up? First, start with something like, “What type of benefits does your company offer?” If you feel your partner might hesitate to have this type of conversation, be the first to share information. Tell your partner what your company offers you to create a safe space and model the type of information you want them to share. You could also say something like, “Saving is important to me, and I always save X amount monthly” and turn the conversation to them and ask, “How about you?” Other examples could be, “When you were growing up did your parents ever speak to you about money? I didn’t like that they never talked about it. / I liked that they talked to me about it.” or “I have this great app that I use to track my expenses and budget my money, what about you?”

If you and your partner, children, or friends are considering marriage and want to have a discussion with Avrio related to pre-marriage financial counseling, please get in touch with us.

This material is intended for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. Additionally, you should consult with your Financial Advisor, Tax Advisor, or Attorney on your specific situation. The views expressed in the material are that of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of any market, regulatory body, State or Federal Agency, or Association. All efforts have been made to report or share true and accurate information. However, the information may become materially outdated or otherwise rendered incorrect due to subsequent new research or other changes, without notice. The author nor the firm are able to always verify the content from third-party sources. For additional information about the firm, please visit the MAS Website at https://www.mas.gov.sg/  and the SEC Website at www.adviserinfo.sec.gov. For a copy of the firm's ADV Part 2 Brochure, please contact us at info@avriowealth.com.